I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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