help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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