And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
