are you still at the devil's house?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
