fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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