I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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