a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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