apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
