that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
