I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
