Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
