He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
