the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
