Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
