I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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