holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
