Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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