I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
