it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
