we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
