there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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