just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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