can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
