we have pet lesbian snakes
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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