fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
