Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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