I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
