His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
