I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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