So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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