your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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