you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
