is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
