omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
