youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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