We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
