I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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