She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
