i may or may not be watching the land before time
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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