Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
