ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
