make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
my poor anus
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