What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
