Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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