I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
