We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
the raccoons are back...
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