At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
