Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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