I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
