didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
