It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
