perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
